I’ve been dating this guy for about a month and a half now, and I ended up losing my virginity to him.We’ve had $ex twice now, and the going’s been good, but he’s under the impression that he wasn’t my first even though I told him well otherwise, and he was shocked when I’d originally told him I was still a virgin.
I’m 25 years old (shocking in itself, but I feel his shock had less to do with my age and more to do with my looks), and I’m no idiot about $ex– very well-read and informed girlhere!– but I was definitely a stranger to it before him, which he thinks is a lie.It’s really bothering me that he refuses to believe me and has even said he doesn’t know what he can trust about me, especiallywith the virginity.
I don’t think he would have cared whatsoever if I wasn’t a virgin, but he really was my first! Why can’t he just believe me?This really just comes down to the guy not getting that this is bothering you.First, he probably can’t believe it. It is very rare.
I believe you, but I can’t really blame another guy for being skeptical.Second, he probably thinks it’s “safer” to just assume you weren’t a virgin. Guys will never put themselves in a position to be played as a chump, and assuming that you weren’t a virgin prevents that (even if he’s wrong).He
doesn’t have a problem thinking you’re not a virgin. He would have a problem if he did think you were a virgin and then found out you weren’t. So in order to avoid that scenario, it’s easier for him to just assume you are like the majority of women.
Third, a month and a half is not long in a relationship. The truth will come out eventually as the relationship goes on. You know the truth because you know the truth.What he knows is you… for a month and a half. So while the virginity thing might not matter to him, being able to trust you in general does.The best way to handle this is just to leave the virginity issue alone and be trustworthy.
If you are 100% trustworthy everywhere else,then he’ll eventually come around and realize you were telling the truth.And if he has “trust issues” in general… well… then that’s his issue.General, virginity is a bigger deal to some guys than others.Personally, I could care less if a girl was a virgin or not. In fact, there are lots of advantages to a girl having had $exual experiences before she’s met me. One being that she’s seen what’s out there and she doesn’t have any burning curiosity hidden away and waiting to pop out at some later point in our relationship.
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